no pressure

I don’t know how this happened but it is May now. I forgot to write for the entirety of April. March felt like the longest month of my life, April felt like the shortest month, and May is here… also passing by quickly. I have many assignments to complete every week and I have to study for my upcoming AP exam.

I think I’m giving myself more pressure than there actually should be. A lot of my assignments have flexible due dates so it doesn’t matter if I hand it in late. I just dislike how the text turns red when something is past due. I cram my homework in on one day because I sleep in and procrastinate. Honestly, my sleep and work schedule needs some tweaking.

Schoolwork is very boring. There is only one class I am a bit interested in and I have completed my work for it. All my other classes are academic and not much fun. I want to do something fun and more engaging than what I am doing currently. I understand that I shouldn’t go outside right now but I kind of want to. The weather seems nice, although there was a hailstorm yesterday after a large shower of rain. Aside from that, it’s been sunny and there was a weather forecast that said to expect the temperatures to go up.

I go through a cycle of sleeping in, doing homework, playing games, doing more homework, and staying up late playing games or cramming in the work that I had pushed to the side to play games earlier in the day. I’m working on changing that but it’s too comfortable when I wake up in the afternoon. I’m going to need more self-control.

Well then, until next time. Hopefully things will get better soon.


The first month of 2020 was quite interesting.

As the year goes on, more and more bad things are coming up. Maybe I am just starting to realize that the only things that are news-worthy and help news companies make money are reports about events that threaten the well-being of the readers. Articles with headlines that draw people in with adjectives that seem to make the situation worse than it actually is, is causing some worries in my area.

Anyhow, I’m trying to focus my worries on my future. I get depressed when reading the news. I get depressed when I think about course selection. I guess I don’t have a lot to be happy for right now. I spend my spare time, or time while procrastinating, watching random dramas that are more exciting than my life right now. Perhaps it is more interesting than my entire life.

just another year – 2019

It has been another year. 2019 has come and gone. I feel that I have changed a lot this year. Not only in age but also in terms of my thinking. Many things occurred this year and different things are on my mind. I worry about more things. Hm. It has been an interesting year.

  1. January: I was still in grade ten. I was adjusting to the fact that I was in grade ten and 15 years old. I sent my sister had flown back in December and left during this month back to Toronto. I had skipped school that day to send her off with my dad. People cried. I didn’t, just a single tear that didn’t even fall 🙂 . School proceeded.
  2. February: Snow! It snowed a bit and school continued. Our table tennis team won third place in the provincial championship.
  3. March: Spring began. I got lots of allergies to the pollen and grass. My dad’s birthday! And spring break, where I went on lots of walks.
  4. April: More spring allergies. My brother turned 8! That’s how old I was when he was born. So weird. I am my brother’s age multiplied by two. My brother also did his First Communion. A day before his birthday.
  5. May: My sister finished her first year of university and came back for her summer vacation. My brother’s school held a fair and we went together.
  6. June: I was finishing up grade ten. I went outside on walks a lot with my sister and the family. My sister flew to Shanghai before us during this month. School finished up very well! I finally got a good report card (straight A). I did a provincial exam and got a very good mark.
  7. July: I went to the Richmond Night Market for the first time with friends. Now it seems sort of funny how some things turn out. I went to Shanghai around the end of the month. Lots of mosquitos. Very hot. Every day was a workout. Lots of restaurants. Lots of taxis. Lots of QR codes. Lots of worrying. Lots of practicing my Shanghainese and Mandarin.
  8. August: We went to Taipei for a week. This stay was extended by around three days because of some typhoons. We had to switch hotels once. I would like to visit Taipei another time. It’s a very nice and clean place to be. People are nice there too. We went back to Shanghai after and we celebrated my paternal grandfather’s 90th birthday. I got to wear a fancy purple dress. I organized a slideshow of pictures to play at the restaurant. I used my terrible Mandarin to communicate with a guy at the restaurant to help me set it up. I almost forgot I went to karaoke with my siblings and cousins. And we had hot pot with them. Lots of fun. On the last day, we had to visit my grandfather in the hospital. Lots of thinking was done.
  9. September: Slept lots until school started. Grade 11. Schedule was great. Except they messed up a class and didn’t fix it until I went to find them and still had to wait an hour for my counsellor to show up and get to me. My friends are in two of my classes. That’s nice. I get to see them every day. Which makes the class more fun! Sometime near the end of this month, I made some people unhappy and that has led to a more awkward relationship with them. I don’t know whose fault it is. I like to think it’s not mine.
  10. October: I turned 16! Fall. School was well underway. I started thinking about why I have friends. I cried once during this month. Weather turned a little bit depressing.
  11. November: Lots of tests and crying over procrastination. Lots of think-thank-thonk. Felt bad because my English mark was very low. Also, I don’t really understand my teacher. Oh well. That’s something to work on this year.
  12. December: Lots of studying went down to bring my math mark back up after being roasted by my teacher. Lots of studying in bio to make sure I wasn’t failing too badly. I’m not even failing any classes, yet I still fail myself a lot of the time. Haha. : )

And now, it’s 2020. One more year until high school graduation. By the end of this year, I will have to have made up my mind. I need to choose a university to go to. I need to choose a Thing that I want to do. But I still don’t know. : ) I guess I’ll figure it out later.

I hope this year is better. I hope this decade is better. I hope things get better. Somehow. I hope I get better. At stuff. : ) Happy New Year!

2020 . 0101

not at all late

I feel like this blog is becoming more and more inactive as I get older. I have only written in increments of three months since the year began.

The end of Grade 10 is approaching in only two weeks. I have four more tests to write this year. I have one more project to complete. Things are really wrapping up now. This year passed very uneventfully. However, I still learned a lot. I learned more about myself. I think more. At least I like to think that I do. I formed more opinions about myself and the world. I matured, mentally. Not completely, but I have improved since last year.

Improvement. And of course, I realize that every year is an improvement from the previous. I just think that this school year, I improved more than in other years. Like other years, it has passed. Like other years, I have passed (my classes). Unlike other years, I made friends. Unlike other years, I did it by myself.

I’m still working on some things. I’m working on finishing this school year on a good note. I’m working on myself. I’m getting there. Hopefully, I figure something out about myself. “Who am I?” — those kinds of things.

“Disguising is one way to hide from others.”
taken out of my English Portfolio

dust particles

It has appeared that my sister is graduating. Her leaving ceremony was on the 24th and it has seemed to hit me just only now. Also there is less than a month left of school. Which also means my sister needs to prepare to go to university and I need to start summer school. That is a bit strange. Ahhh. When my sister goes to university, I will be the oldest, with Gabriel being the youngest, still. But there will only be the two of us until she either visits or comes back once she’s done; in like 4 years. Anyway, until next time!

the probability of one

I haven’t written for a while. My typing skills have decreased a bit in quality. I’m a lot slower. My Computers teacher noticed that a lot of us do not type using home row. I mean I can still type, just not using home row. I can still type relatively quickly. Just maybe not as fast as others do.

I have a few small projects, and I seem to have forgotten to announce that it is no the third term of grade 9. I signed up for summer school today. I’m only doing one class. And one online class. I’m slightly worried about how my registration has gone through because I messed up once and had to withdraw a class that I had mistakenly signed up for. Anyway, I have some Art homework. I should get to that. Until next time, maybe even next month! 🙂

it’s all done and over with

And it is the last day of 2017. I should do that weird review of the year and the resolutions I made at the beginning of the year. I’ll do that now. Yeah.

Resolutions for the year 2017 (italics are my thoughts now):

  1. Try to get my creativity out in different ways (drawing, writing, idk what else).
    I suppose that I have done this. In art class at school, I have to do this and I participated in a art contest for the Public Library. Today is the last day they are showing them at the library.
  2. Focus (whether it be around people, at school, or when playing sports).
    My focus? I think I still need to work on this.
  3. Less use of my phone.
    I don’t think this is going to happen. Maybe when I get more busy. I did stop playing my phone game…
  4. Sleep at more appropriate times.
    For some reason, this is very hard to do. But then again it is the holidays right now, so I don’t really sleep at normal times. During the school year, I sleep.. okay. Health.
  5. Try to keep the desk organized for as long as possible and clean every once in a while.
    I think I only clean when someone is going to vacuum or clean out some closet. But right now there are many pieces of paper from homework and projects.
  6. Organize time for everything; have a plan. 🙂
    What is a plan? I tried, okay?
  7. Spend more time with the child. GABEYY.
    I really don’t want to sometimes. Because he’s starting to mansplain. And he can read a lot of things and understand some things that he didn’t before. how unfortunate that my brother is learning. Hahahaha.

Today, December Thirty-First of Twenty-Seventeen, I am going spend my time at home doing homework. For sure. No distractions. Only this project and studying. Yep. Anyways, I hope 2017 had at least a few great memories you can look back at. Memories are usually what keeps people going. Let’s go 2018!

(I’ll, hopefully, be posting some resolutions tomorrow!)

movable type

I’ve been thinking about a lot of different things these days. I mean there isn’t much to do, but I have lots of random topics floating around my head.

At school, I’m not very good at being consistent towards people. I would act really nice and then after a while, joking, and then really mean and ignoring them. Or completely different from how I was before. I act very different depending on the person. Are all people like this or is this really weird? I’m not really sure. But then again, I’m not really sure of anything.

Anyways, yesterday, I got a haircut. I haven’t had one in about a year or maybe more. It’s not too short, it’s a little below my shoulders, but the front is shorter than the front. By the time I go back to school, it should be longer. It’s also thinner, so I can tie it up without a horsetail weighing my head back. The other time that I had table tennis practice, some person’s mother told me that at my school, many experienced and skilled players have graduated so it is up to the younger grades to uphold our reputation as champions, but last year, the farthest we got was third and my team got fifth. The boys side, I wasn’t too sure of, but it wasn’t very far up either. Hopefully we do better next year. Oh! That means we have to hold try-outs in… is it October or November? I don’t know but I’ll figure it out.

I should go to a tournament to get points and build up experience. But they are so terrifying. I hate seeing strangers and having to play against them. I just get uncomfortable. Last time I went to a tournament, I didn’t wear shorts, so I got yelled/scolded by the creepy old man referee. I was self-conscious that time about really short shorts, but now, I can wear shorts without thinking about them because I have built some self-confidence. I can’t wear skirts and crop tops without feeling slightly disgusted and self-conscious. I’m not comfortable wearing them in public. I have to wear a type of pants. I have the same feeling when I wear swimwear and go into the water. 🙁

Anyway, I have to get relatively early tomorrow, so I’ll end here and go sleep. Goodnight and see you next time!