hydrophobic

For P.E. tomorrow, we are required to enter the water in order to get a passing mark. However, I am slightly (or VERY) terrified of going into the water. It’s not that I’m self-conscious, I literally don’t like submerging myself in water. Another thing is that I don’t know how to swim and I don’t plan on learning anytime soon. I don’t like this.

Nothing really happens these days; all I’ve been doing nowadays is do a lot of homework, watch things to get my mind off of working, and maybe just listening to music and not doing anything. I should really clean up for the day and prepare for tomorrow, but I don’t like thinking about tomorrow. Why can’t I stay awake for the whole time and still not get tired? So I don’t have to worry about a night, waking up in the morning, and I can spend the whole nighttime doing whatever I want to. And I don’t have to do work, since it’ll be done in the day. Nighttime is my aesthetic. I really like nighttime, despite the fact that you can’t see anything when it’s dark.  Whatever, I’ll write something about darkness later when I have more time.

For now, I shall go, as my mother has advised me. Goodnight!

accompanied loneliness

–[Lonely] 씨스타–

I am late again. By another day. You know, I try to have at least two posts in one month, but for the past two months, I suck at remembering to write. Well, here we are in June. I really dislike how we are already in our last month of school. There are only 21 more days until school is out. However I still have many things to do. I still have to edit and print my English simile poem. My poem somehow turned depressing. Again. Just like my ‘I am From’ poems. I still have to study for my Socials test for next week, and then there is one more unit to cover. My Science is almost coming to an end. Art is wrapping up, Math is in the last project, and the other classes are just things I don’t exactly focus on, like French, P.E., and Home Ec. I have a skills test tomorrow in Home Ec. Well. I nearly forgot.

I guess I am really lonely, even though there are people around. I mean, if I tell my family or my one really close friend, they’ll go, ‘it’s okay, you still have us.’ But, really, I still have a sense of loneliness. I always look at people’s backs, so if I switch places with them and I can’t see their backs, I feel scared. But when I see their backs, I feel left behind if I don’t catch up. I really don’t get what I want.

There is a Sports Banquet for all the Spring and Summer sports teams. Sometime next week. There is a dress code. I dislike having a restriction even if it is to look semi-formal. I don’t like wearing dresses, so I guess I’ll wear something half casual, but a little more fancy, like some random thing hiding in the back of my closet that is not something I usually wear. If I can find something like that. My friend is worrying about it, but then again, it is our first fancy event since entering high school.

Tomorrow is another day of looking at people’s backs. I guess I should go sleep and get back up in the morning. Well then, goodnight! I mean, see ya!

demonstrations i

Well hello there. I was actually planning on writing something yesterday, before April ended, but. I ended up being late and now I have to write something in May. Well isn’t that weird.

My cousin is coming back to live with my family for a while today. I helped set up his sleeping area. It’s not really a room, it’s just a spot in the basement. Gabey has been quite excited. Right, I did all that today since I don’t have any school today. It’s a Goal Day. Grace had an AP exam today, so she should be  done by now. I’ve been working on my Science. We have to do a demo and explain how it works, why it works, and how it is applied in real life. For the other two days, I worked on and finished my Social Studies and English. In Socials we were working on the Protestant Reformation. This unit is quite interesting as I am a Catholic, and even though I heard of the other branches of Christianity, I never really figured out why some of them are there. I mean, I never actually went out there on purpose to figure it out. :)) In English, we are writing and analyzing poems. I’m not really good at poems, but I kind of have to raise my mark in this course to get an A. Ugghhh.

For now, I will work on my Science, and do what I usually do. Until I write again. See ya!

flip

Heyy, I have neglected this for a while as I couldn’t find any thing to write about or even find the time and patience to write a whole post. I really haven’t done much. I did lots of school. I have a large test tomorrow for Socials Studies.

I have been thinking a lot recently. Am I afraid of being in the way of others achieving their goals? Am I being a pushover? I think I have accidentally become a pushover. People borrow my supplies all the time, ask to copy my homework, or to buy things (with the promise to pay me back). I mean, it’s not mean to me, it just makes me think, am I benefiting from my actions? I’ll… think about it over Summer Break, I don’t have time to think these days. Maybe I’ll find something, but for now, I will study. Well then, see you!

writing instead of typing

I am using my tablet instead of typing for this post. I can write everything with it. Quite fun, actually. Watching the letters come out is… interesting.

It’s a week into Spring Break and I haven’t done much work aside from the easy assignments. I’m very lazy, to be honest. Not that I realized just now or anything. Spring Break is fun. Laziness, well, that’s a part of me. :))

There are 7 more months until my birthday. More importantly, my dad’s birthday is in 10 more days. My brother’s is in a month and 8 days. My sister’s is in 3 months and 10 days. And I am too lazy to figure out my mom’s as it is in December. :))

Today, I organized my clothing. As expected, I have lots of clothing that don’t fit. It’s okay, because now I have space for new clothing. But, my allergies act up with all the dust in the air, as well as the amount of ‘spring’. It is the first day of spring.  It is the first day of spring. Yesterday, my family and I went to a park and to had an intense allergic reaction to something that I had to stop my runny nose and many things in my airway was itchy. It’s like that today too. 🙁

Anyhow, I am surviving, so I will go do some useful things. See ya later!

spring into action

Well. It snowed on Monday, and with today being a rather warm Friday, I think the weather is having some temperature spasms. It was like 4 degrees Celsius yesterday, but today was like 11 degrees after school.

Today was the last day of school before Spring Break. I want to meet with an old friend. Mainly because I haven’t seen them in quite a while. Maybe 2 years? I dunno. I talked to them within that time though, but not face-to-face. Anyway, O have some homework, actually less than I thought I would have. I have to do my last Lit. Circle for English, an Art History page (or two), aandd… that’s it. Only two assignments. My Lit. Circle is already half complete, and the Art History page will probably take a day to finish. I finally get to have a bit of a break. But I should still be a little bit productive. Maybe do something useless but art-related. Perhaps sleep a little more. Write more. Conserve energy and lay down for extended periods of time. :)) And play lots of games.

It is getting late. And I want to draw or play a game, so, see y’all later!

whooops

I’ve been planning for the past year to post some creative material, however, I ended up making this into some very vague journal for the world to see. But I do have some incomplete work in my drafts and in my random folder with drawings and writing in them. But I really don’t like posting them out… and they are not even done. Or properly developed.

School is a thing. Yeah. I got my marks for English, Socials, French, and… that’s it. Well, those are most of my Day Two classes. There is lots of work to do. And more work to come; I can’t wait for Spring Break. I need a break. I get to skip Friday because I have to go to the Provincials… It goes all the way until the evening. And there is a second part on Saturday. I’m not complaining.

I have been listening to lots of weird OST. I mean, it depends on the actual series right… If the song reminds me of the series, then I think it works. Idk… I think I have very little interest in anything my friends are interested in. Is that a little too mean? However, it is true. They have aspirations, places they want to be, things they want to do, things they will do, and paths to take. I (not a special snowflake) can’t seem to find anything to do with my future. There are so many possibilities.

Course Selection is almost complete, as the only other thing I need to do is enter it into the system. There are many people that say things like, “It’s easier to change things when you’re younger,” or, “It really determines your path later in life.” It kind of… intimidates me. In a way that makes me really stressed and nervous for no actual reason. Course Selection may not be the reason for that stressed feeling. Perhaps the fact that Term Two is ending and Term Three units are starting. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahgggggggg. I’m going to literally explode. Somehow. I’ll figure it out later. Anyway, will I scream internally, I will organize tomorrow’s materials. Goodnight! :))

predicament part ii

Why is my brother so cuute! I know he’s like five, but bro, he’s so adorable. I did an English test this morning; it was composed of two parts: a quotes section of who said it, and an essay. I got 23/30 for the quotes side, and my teacher will mark the essay on her own time. I feel like I will failll. I also did a Socials Studies presentation-ish and I guess I did okay with the information part. I also need to complete my course selection form. I did lots of things today, I guess, compared to me usually. I got all my Day 2 teachers to sign my Field Trip form. I have table tennis provincials in 2 weeks. I’m gonna cry, because I missed 2 practices due to snow this week. Last week, I missed it once due to the Science Fair. I’m so out of shape. And out of focus due to my lack of practice. I also suck at staying warmed-up. Should wear more. :))

School has been quite… busy. It is the end of the term. I dislike making things. Like with wood and intense machines. AKA basic Tech Ed stuff. I enjoy drawing/designing stuff, but I’m probably not going to take Drafting next year. Also Enriched courses are something I might take. I don’t really like how it’s called Enriched. Kind of hard to say, and sounds a little pretentious. It’s also really different from Honours, which I dislike, but like who cares. I just want things to be easier and the same. I don’t enjoy change when it directly affects me. Sad. Anyway, I need to get started on writing an article for the school newspaper which is due in 2 days. I.. yeah. See ya. Goodnight!

re-renaissance

Most of my posts are about me and school. Yes, I realize that school is the only other thing that is going on apart from my personal life. Once again, I’m back to update y’all on my homework. I’m currently (like actually at the moment) working on my Socials Renaissance Artist project. I’ve written a paragraph. One solitary passage of 5 to 9 sentences. Just one. As you can see, that amount of work had inspired me to name this post after it.

It snowed a bit more today, adding to the amount snowed yesterday and the day before. The other day, I threw out the trash and it started snowing while I was outside. It looked really cool. Because it started snowing a lot more after. Anyway, today at school, I managed to run through a field of calf-high snow only to find my sister doing the same on the other side. Seems like we find snow very fun. We spent the evening looking at the individual snowflakes (tiny tiny ones that were very FRESH) and their designs. Quite intriguing, really. Actually, it was really cool. We also noticed that we had some icicles hanging from the side of the roof. So we plucked some big ones off and sunk them into the piles of snow on the side. Very entertaining.

I seem to realize lots of things these days. I noticed that my sister and I have been very synchronized recently. Lots of our inside jokes are said at the exact same time that sometimes we don’t even notice the other person even said it until we hear the layering of voices. Is this meant to be?? Haha. Also. Family Day and Valentines’ Day is coming up. Lots of affection related holidays are coming up, and I haven’t gotten any gifts or chocolates yet. Perhaps I will go out over the weekend to get some. 🙂 Anyways, it’s getting a little late, and I should probably sleep since there is still school tomorrow. Goodnight, and see y’all later!

studying fairs

We recently did the Science Fair. Personally, I think our project’s experiment did not really prove our hypothesis, or even answer the question. The only thing that happened was the background research. Which was more thorough than intended. But still quite shallow for not doing anything. We had to present to 5 pairs of judges. It went alright I guess.

I’ve been assigned 2 more projects this week. There is this character study for English; I’m doing it with 2 other people, and we are doing Duke Orsino from Twelfth Night (the whole class will have a test on the entire play on Friday…). The other one I have barely started is a Socials poster thing on Renaissance Artists. I’m doing Pieter Bruegel the Elder. One problem is that I have to print a picture of one of his works for it, and most of his famous works include lots of colour, and I don’t have a colour printer handy. Uhhhh.

Anyway, I should do work… tomorrow. It’s late. Goodnight, and see y’all later!