School ended about a month ago. Grade 11 has ended on an uneventful note. Quietly, school is over and summer vacation has begun. All that is happening, is happening in my head.
These days, my head feels quite stuffy. Not in a sick way, but in a more ‘brain space’ way. I feel like I am running out of space in my brain for thoughts. To be honest, I felt that way for the entirety of this year. I just completed assignment after assignment without having the brain capacity to think about myself. For the past 4 months, I have spent most of my time at home, laying down for hours on end. Just kidding. However, I have been spending more time laying in bed before actually getting up. I spend an average of an hour in bed from the moment I crack open my eyes to the moment I leave for the washroom. I realize that that is not very productive.
This past week, I’ve been able to let some steam out. It had been building up for a long time, probably since the beginning of this year.
2020. Very interesting year for everyone I believe. I think the main reason for my stress these days is because of Grade 12. I very much dislike my school’s environment. All the students do is compare, brag, and complain. It’s incredibly annoying, toxic, and depressing, so I try not to participate and I try to tell the people around me not to. Or change the subject because I can’t change others. Anyway. I was going to say something about grade 12. I can’t remember what it was though.
These past 4 months was a good break from that school environment. I got to take a break from people. It was a much-needed break and I will have to take some time to readjust to school when it starts. Anyhow, I will be moving on if I want to or not. Until next time!
Shall I go over last year’s resolutions? I think I did a review half-way through the year as well. So maybe I’ll go through the midway ones. Grey is the original resolution. Blue is the comment that I made in June. Black is me Right Now.
- Arrange work in a more organized way (actually follow a schedule!)
I like to think that I have organized my work in relatively well order. However, I have placed myself in a hard position where assignments were slightly piling up and I was stressing myself out.
I have begun to prioritize things. There’s no specific order. I think I still need to figure out a better system though. To keep my desk less cluttered.
- Be more outgoing! Maybe do some work experience this year…
I did and am doing work experience. I also went outside more often with classmates. I made more friends this year. Very good!
I went places with my friends in 2019. Fun! Became better friends with some people and learned how to talk in a better way to people.
- Try to… have more self-awareness?? Also be more aware of others and where I am among them.
I seem to be too aware these days. I am too wary of myself ad my actions. Kind of tiring but it helps me understand others better. Others are also humans and have feelings and are unpredictable (as much as I’d like to predict other people…)
I am more aware. And I have developed a voice that I use specifically when ordering things and talking to teachers.
- Draw, read, and write more often to keep the creative process ongoing.
I drew throughout the year in art class and in English. I went to the library more often this year and read more books. I still have more books that I want to read. I also have many ideas for things to write about. I will get to them after summer vacation is fully in swing.
In the first half of the year, I was more creative. In the second half, I was more occupied. I also did not take an art class. Will work on this one more.
- Put more effort towards friends. (For example: go out with them, help them, be more caring, talk to them more, etc.)
I WENT OUT TODAY WITH FRIENDS. I realized that I am accidentally in many friend groups at once. Tiring as well… That’s not their fault, it’s my own for thinking too much probably.
I have narrowed down my friend group. I don’t know if I really have any friends, but I think I have at least one.
- Be more mature (how vague…) and think more before acting. Think about the consequences, how my action can affect others, and how I feel.
I think I think a lot more now. A lot more.
Lots think. Yes.
- Improve handwriting. Printing. I don’t know, just more… good-looking.
I completely forgot about this one and I actually think that my printing has gotten worse.
My printing has gotten better, to be honest. More neat and… I don’t know, mature?
- Exercise more. Go for runs, practise more table tennis (maybe arrange for more practices??), and do stretches and other exercises more regularly.
I play table tennis for four hours at a time. I should do other exercises too.
I still play a lot of table tennis.
- Plan ahead. Like… uh… Watch out for deadlines and get things done ahead of time so that I have time to look things over and get things done to the best of my ability.
Kind of redundant to be honest. This one is like number 1. Still needs some work, just like everything else.
Currently working on it.
Maybe I should make fewer resolutions. Perhaps I’ll go about growth in steps. Smaller steps.
- Stay on task. Close other tabs when there is a deadline. Resist the urge to check the phone.
- Exercise certain areas at least twice a week.
- Clean room and desk regularly.
That’s it. Start small I guess. 2020. We’ll see how it turns out.
Today we began packing for our summer trip to Shanghai, China. As of right now, we have packed most of our check-in luggage. For me, most of the items that I packed into mine are actually not my things. My things probably take up a quarter of the space. Oof : )
While opening some packaging, I got a paper (cardboard) cut. On three fingers, but only one bled. I’m very smart. Anyhow. I’m slightly worried that I will forget to bring something or I will bring too much or bring something I’m not supposed to bring. There are lots of things that I am thinking about these days, for no actual reason. Or maybe there is a reason, but I’m overthinking about it. Or perhaps it is not for me to worry about. But I’d like to help and not feel like a terrible person by not thinking about it. Oh well. I guess I’ll go with the flow again.
Stomachache. I feel like my appetite and ability to eat a lot has decreased this year. And the ability to digest. Or maybe I eat too much now. I don’t know but food is good and I eat either way. Instead of thinking about it, I just go with it until I feel uncomfortable or something like that. Going with the flow~.
Until next time… Maybe I’ll be elsewhere when I post again, or maybe I’ll be back from my trip!
I have neglected to write since the start of the year. I think I was… very distracted. By various things. I still am distracted. Some things that I have been occupied by are school, sports, TV dramas, movies, and music. Upon further analysis, it appears that school work and TV dramas are the main cause of this lack of presence on this blog.
School work. It appears that I always care more than I would like to. Especially for group projects. I hate having to make sure I am not being a burden. This is where I get frustrated; I act nice to those who become a burden to me. Why can’t I stand my ground? Why am I not resolute? Aside from an internal struggle with myself, I think I’m doing pretty well for the past two terms. There is one more term of grade 10. I can’t seem to wrap my head around that concept. I have 2 more years to go. Before I know it… it will be over. I’ll have to begin anew. I have to find a purpose in this society. Haha. That sounds funny. Not entirely sure why though.
It is Spring Break, which explains how I found the time to notice that it has been a while since I last posted. There are two more Spring Breaks after this one. There are many things I am going to have to do. I hope I don’t procrastinate. I have many things to do (does repeating this make me feel like I must complete all my homework?). I have to complete my Science Enrichment Project. I have to begin my English Portfolio. I have to read a book (and figure out what I am going to with it). I have to go to the dentist this week. I have to help a school sports team by being their manager (I’m not complaining, I think it will be fun or interesting). Hopefully, I can finish all that I listed just now.
I don’t know what to do now. I guess I’ll be OK. For now.
Grade 10 has begun and I’m not quite sure as to what I am doing. I’ve finally completed a week, more like three days of school. My brother is in grade 2 and my sister is in her first year of university. Once again, I’m completely in the middle, not sure of what I’m doing. I mean, it totally makes sense that I’m in the middle, but I don’t really like it. I’m the middle child, the second in almost everything I do. Rarely am I first. Or last. Not that I really want to be in either of those positions, but sometimes I feel insignificant.
Anyhow. There has been no work assigned which is great. All I have been doing in my classes is listen to expectations, what types of work we will be doing later, and how certain things are marked in the course. I took my first notes of the year yesterday in Law, which I personally find interesting. The problem is that I wrote my notes in pencil, so I should go over them in ink and make them look nicer. And highlight certain things. There are a few vocab words. I should also think about what I’m gonna write for in an intro assignment I have in a class I have on Monday. I’m going to be pretty preoccupied with many things I am thinking about.
I didn’t write in August for many reasons. I was just finishing summer school. I was helping my sister pack. I was taking a rest by watching many TV shows, reading books (although it was a bit above my understanding), and slacking off. My family and I went to Whistler for a week and we went to the new suspension bridge near the top of the mountain. I ate a lot. I walked a lot. My sister at the end of August, and my brother always brings up how things were more fun with the three of us, not just the two of us. Which kind of hurts. Lol.
Anyway, I really don’t know much so don’t ask me too much. Hahaha. Until next time!
Summer is in full swing. I have summer school in the morning; I take Social Studies 10 so I can take other Socials classes next year. When it is September, I will be in grade 10. That means only two more years until I will be doing what my sister is doing. She’s going to university this year! She’ll be moving out, which is strange, because we’ve been together for my entire life, sharing the same room, food, and toys. It will be strange if she isn’t here. It will be just my brother and me.
My brother! Will be in grade 2. Man, I remember grade 2. That year was my last year at my elementary school before I moved to another elementary school. I may have seemed to others that I didn’t care about moving, or rather, they thought that I enjoyed it. Actually, I cried. A bit. Over my two best friends. Now, one is kind of distant from what I remembered her to be like, while the other, I haven’t seen since. She moved too, I heard. Social interactions give me headaches sometimes.
I take an online course that has something due every day and I don’t like to get ahead, so I start it the day before it is due, then finish and hand it in on the day it is due. Which is kind of low-key procrastination. But I don’t have the motivation to do more than one assignment per day. I don’t wanna do it. Anyway. It is getting late, so until next time. Hopefully I don’t skip a month. 🙂
I haven’t written for a while. My typing skills have decreased a bit in quality. I’m a lot slower. My Computers teacher noticed that a lot of us do not type using home row. I mean I can still type, just not using home row. I can still type relatively quickly. Just maybe not as fast as others do.
I have a few small projects, and I seem to have forgotten to announce that it is no the third term of grade 9. I signed up for summer school today. I’m only doing one class. And one online class. I’m slightly worried about how my registration has gone through because I messed up once and had to withdraw a class that I had mistakenly signed up for. Anyway, I have some Art homework. I should get to that. Until next time, maybe even next month! 🙂
It’s Spring Break! I also happen to have allergies and a cold, so I feel GREAT. I have made a To-Do List for over the Spring Break, so I hope it will be completed by the end. I have three projects, and a few personal objectives on the list. I made the list on Sticky Notes.
I didn’t write in most of February, aside from the first day, so I will recap. Most of February was relatively quiet and normal. On March 2nd and 3rd, it was the BCSSTTC. Which, un-abbreviated, is the British Columbia Secondary School Table Tennis Championships. I represented my school (of course) and we entered all three events available. There was the team event, doubles event, and the singles event. In the team event, my team placed second! In the doubles event, my partner and I placed third! So we received the corresponding medal for our results. A SILVER and a BRONZE! This is only my second time at these championships, so I’m still really excited. I’ll need to practice some more in order to achieve a gold, which I really hope is possible in my high school career. That really makes it sound too intense. Like some nerd.
I should really accomplish some of the tasks on my To-Do List. So, until next time!
I have finished a project that I dislike. I presented it today. Why is it February already? I’m not ready for Family Day, Valentine’s Day, and Chinese New Year. I’m not prepared to be social. But I have a feeling that I might like someone. I don’t know though. I don’t even talk to people. Anyway. It’s really late for a school day, and I wanted to slip in a post on the first day of February. O h y e a h . I have a cold sore, so I may be sick soon. I sneezed in the morning and it was really cold after practice today (after school). ANYWAY, I need to go now, or else I will not function properly tomorrow at school. Until next time then!
Happy New Year!! I hope 2017 left you with good memories and 2018 coming with many happy events.
As for the resolutions… these are made on the fly.
- I would like to improve my art. Like in any way possible.
- I would like to help out my parents more often.
- Less procrastination as I always say. But never happens.
- Dress warmer, so… less sick. And colds.
- Be more prepared (related to number 3)
- Watch movies. (Purely for my own entertainment.)
- Take care of skin. (fall less and lotion??)
- Practice and perhaps be more intense about table tennis!
And that is about it! Upcoming events include, my sister graduating, grade 10, my brother going into grade 2, and that’s all I am anticipating. Nothing less, and perhaps even more. I hope 2018 proves to be a better year than 2017, especially in world events.
Happy New Year!