endless patience

This is quite the summer I am having. I’ve been gaming and eating a lot. However, summer session for me has just begun so I have more to do. I could’ve been looking into the LSAT through the book I bought last month. I looked into it the first couple of days but then I got a bit lazy and decided to leave it for now. I have a paper due tomorrow and a term paper to prepare for after that.

These days I’ve been doing a lot of housework. My parents went to San Francisco for about a week and came back feeling unwell. They got COVID-19 and they stayed in their room for about ten days until they felt better and tested negative twice. My sister and I were pretty much on our own for about a month. I went out three times to get groceries and my brother’s library books. It was kind of fun to be able to do whatever we wanted to do whenever. It wasn’t that fun to spray and wipe down the bathroom that we shared with our parents while they were sick every night. My sister and I were mostly concerned about my brother getting sick because he has something similar to asthma.

Sometimes I wonder if I ever got sick. Like throughout the entire pandemic, I haven’t gotten sick at all. I haven’t even gotten a cold since 2019. I feel like the next time I get sick, I will be hit hard. So far, every time one of my family members get sick, I am the… main person to help out and yet I still do not get sick. Is this… youth? Just kidding. It’s probably related to how my immune system works and how often I exercise and go outside to expose myself to potential pathogens. Where was I going with this again? I just can’t tell if or when I get sick anymore.

It’s been a number of years since the pandemic began and it still feels new. I should have been prepared for my family members getting COVID-19, but I didn’t think that I could stay healthy even as we shared bathrooms and as I did COVID-positive dishes with disposable gloves and a mask on. What a time.

Some conclusions from the past few weeks:
1. I have some more confidence in cooking now.
2. I can handle at least two stressful events at one time.
3. I haven’t cried in a while. (I feel like it’s coming up soon)
4. I am probably more sympathetic than empathetic.
5. I do not know how to respond when people I care about are upset.

This past year, I learned a lot about my family and where I am situated within both sides. There’s not a whole lot for me, the second child of a youngest child and an only child, to do for either family. There’s nothing significant about my position. I’m not the oldest child, the youngest child, or a boy. There is no specific role for me to play other than a good kid.

Another thing that I have noticed this past year is the way I refer to myself in my thoughts and writing. I still believe that I am a child and that I am young enough to be underage. Of course, this is to be expected–I’m only 18. I’m still learning how to think like an adult. I’m still learning how to be like an adult. However, I don’t think there will be much of a difference between me now and me in 5-10 years.

Anyway, the conclusion is, what time I am having!

the end of year one

Hello and welcome back to another life update brought to you by yours truly, Gloria. Summer break is well underway and I’ve gone to Toronto twice since I last wrote. I went to Toronto once at the end of the school term (early April) and then once near the end of finals season (late April). On the first trip, I went with my family to visit my sister for her thesis exhibition (for which I helped set up and take down) and we also visited my cousin who used to live with us a few years ago. It was a fun trip and Toronto was like a more extreme version of Vancouver, weather-wise. My second trip’s purpose was to help my sister pack all of her belongings and bring (her) them back to Burnaby. My mission was a success and I lifted a 65.5 lbs luggage a few times.

Now, my sister and I have been back for some time now and I feel like time is passing too quickly and that I have to be more active. I should look for part-time jobs or at least some volunteer opportunities. I have one opportunity for late August and I have one summer course in July/August, but other than that, there is nothing else for me to do. I should plan more things for me to do. I think I will apply for a few part-time jobs this summer so I can work throughout the year.

Anyway, I want to go over my first year of university and… reflect month-by-month. Just kidding, I’ll just split it into the two semesters.

Semester One: September-December 2021
I signed up for 5 courses but I dropped one after the first class so I ended up taking 4 courses for the first semester. I took a political science course, an anthropology course, a sociology course, and a mandatory writing course. I tried out and got on the table tennis team. I went to practices after classes and made a friend. I wrote papers and did midterms and final exams for the first time. My final marks were all above the class average! This gave me a self-esteem boost and told me that I could survive the first year at least. I don’t actually remember a lot about what I did. I remember getting lost on the first day, but I was only ten minutes late to two of my classes. By the second and third day, I was able to navigate the relevant areas of the campus. I really enjoyed the hybrid delivery of lectures for most of my courses. Most of the exams during this semester were online.

Semester Two: January-April 2022
I took a full course load this past semester (5 courses). I took another political science course, another sociology course, an archaeology course, a GRSJ (Gender, Race, and Social Justice) course, and a psychology course. The political science course, although interesting as it was new material to me, was boring to me. The professor was very nice and explained things very clearly and made lectures interesting but I just don’t think this area is for me. The exams during this time were mostly in person but there were a few that were online. My marks during this semester were pretty high and I got higher than the average in all my classes again. Pretty proud of my marks. I’m no genius, but I can get a B and occasionally some As.

Complete Overview: Summer Vacation Time 2022
As a result of doing pretty well during my first year of university, I feel like I deserve a bit of a break. There was a lot of adjusting, learning, stressing, planning, and cramming. At first, I stuck to what I knew in high school and studied for midterms and tests as they came in my direction (AKA around 2-3 days ahead of time, all the way until the day of the exam) and doing assignments as the deadlines approached. This… style of working worked for my first semester because I was taking 4 courses at the time. But when the second semester began, I had to account for all the material for 5 courses at the time. It really made me wonder how I survived high school with 8 concurrent courses (the work was easier but nontheless).

There was a brief period of time (around midterm season in the second semester) where I felt like I was really in a bad place. I had multiple large assignments due and there were some heavily-weighted midterms coming up. There was a lot of information for me to have memorized in those two weeks. My brain was a bit overwhelmed at the time so I decided to reorganize myself before it got worse. I ended up getting through those two weeks alright and then quickly reorganized myself over the weekend by actually using my planner and sticky notes and over the weekend, I caught up on small assignments. After that, and leading up to final exam season, I maintained that strategy and organized the coming week’s to-do list over the weekend and then followed it almost religiously. It worked pretty well and I got some good marks!

Anyway, over this summer I plan on looking over the LSAT and decide whether or not I want to take it next year. In addition to that, I will be coaching some table tennis at my local club to make some small bucks and in August I will have another short-term job with my school for first-yeat orientation day/week. I think I will get a part-time job within the next 365 days. Okay, that’s more like a goal. We all have to start somewhere!

With that, I will end this post here. I learned a lot this past school year and I hope my new learning strategy works next year with slightly higher-level courses. Until next time!

and ont(w)o 2022

Happy New Year! Despite having only three exams this past semester, I probably only did well on two of the three. I did my last one on a dreary Wednesday morning at 8:30 AM and it was open book. That made it a bit more comfortable but I was unable to form coherent sentences that early in the morning. This is especially difficult for this exam since it was an essay question. Aside from that… I received a final grade for my (mandatory) writing class. I got a B in the class! This is good news to me. A B mark is pretty good and I got above the class average so that makes my day. Another grade was released sometime yesterday and I got a B+! Made my day, although I only checked in the middle of the night (or early morning…). I did my best this semester but there are some study habits and writing skills that I can improve on. Of course, there is always space for improvement, even if I manage to get an A in any of my courses. I’m still waiting on two more classes to upload grades so I hope I’m ready. :]]

Now onto the main topic. Today is the first day of 2022! A lot happened last year: I got into universities, got scholarships, graduated from high school, survived a heat dome, survived intense rainstorms, completed the first semester of university, and most importantly, I survived the year without getting sick. Hopefully I (and my family) can continue to be healthy and avoid getting sick. Sometimes I wonder when this will all be over but at the same time, I can’t seem to remember what it was like before the pandemic. I distinctly remember my last day of school before the pandemic and some of my thoughts–I was in  my high school’s yearbook room and was talking to one of my classmates about school going on an indefinite break after the Spring Break. We were making some predictions of what was going to happen in the next few weeks. Who knew it was going to go this far? Who knew that part of this upcoming semester was going to be fully online?

To be honest, I don’t have a preference yet, whether or not a class is in-person or online. It is fun to have in-person classes to see all the different people in my classes and people-watch, essentially. Online classes are a bit more convenient because I can sit in the library if I can’t make it to the classroom on time. Or, if the weather is bad, I can stay at home. Discussion classes probably work better in person. Considering how awkward the in-person session was, I think going online will only make it worse because it is even harder to pick up on social cues and when it would be a suitable time to talk without interrupting someone and it would prolong the silence and lead us nowhere.

Anyhow, I will be working on making this year better than the previous. There a few things that have to be done this year, including attending my sister’s graduation events, learning how to drive, finish year one and declare a major and minor (hopefully), and improving my studying skills. I have some new resolutions for 2022, so here we go:

    1. Make study plans and schedule out assignments.
    2. Learn how to drive.
    3. Keep track of finances.

Although some seem broad, I have more detailed notes to myself of how to achieve them. It’s good to set goals but it is also important to write down the steps to achieving them. At least for me 🙂

This post was very difficult for me to complete and it took me a few weeks to write this so this post is a bit all over the place. I don’t know why it took me so long and so many tries to do this, but I guess I am taking this break a little too seriously. I’m going to be hanging out with a university friend tomorrow, which I’ve never done before. We are being cautious though and only sticking to local places so it’s relatively safe, pandemic-wise. Hope all will be well soon. Happy New Year!

so here we are

Welcome back to my blog! It has been quite some time since my last post. Nothing much has happened but at the same time, a lot has occurred. Last time I wrote, I was still coming to terms with the fact that I was accepted into university. Now, I have chosen all my classes for the university that I will attend in September.

Another big change is that I am officially done high school. I was able to get above 90% in all of my courses this year so I’m really proud that I didn’t die halfway through or give up. I just find it amazing that I was able to power through the incredibly poorly-planned year. In every event that was planned, something went wrong or had to be adjusted to avoid a massive problem. I guess these types of things are inevitable and should be expected because anything can happen.

My leaving ceremony occurred in the middle of a massive record-breaking heat wave. The day before my ceremony, it was 42 degrees Celsius! It was a terrible experience and I hope it never happens again but with the rate of climate change and all that is not being done in the world, I will most likely experience something similar again in the near future. Anyway, it was 38 degrees during my ceremony. I still had to wear the robe and all and the teachers and admins were all very alert for any students or staff who may have been on the verge of heat stroke. While I waited in line, I was very sweaty and they asked me if I was okay and if I needed a drink of water. I declined but kept fanning myself with my certificate folder. I found that I got a plaque for a service award and two scholarships. One was from the school’s Parent Advisory Council and the other was from the photography studio that works with the school and for my work on the school’s yearbook. That was fun! These were monetary so it helps me for next year.

Speaking of next year, I cannot imagine myself in university. It doesn’t seem impossible and I think that I can do it. There are so many things to do on my own and there are so many things to keep track of. I have yet to do so many things. I need to get better at taking initiative and prioritizing things correctly in my life. That will require some more confidence and courage which will take time. I don’t really want to spend time trying to do that because I don’t know how to do it. Do I have to fake it ’til I make it? I’m not sure. Do I need to actually believe in myself? I don’t think I can. Either way, I’ll just go in blindly and hope for the best. That doesn’t sound like a good plan, haha. I will do my research, prepare for all scenarios, and then simply do my best. The worst possible outcome is… that I fail. Which then means that I will have to try again.

I think I am thinking myself in circles again. I will be okay this year. Anyhow! There is only one more full month left before I start panicking about physically going to university. I want to make plans with my old classmates but I am terribly too awkward to reach out. I promise I will soon. After I recover. From my second vaccination and pain from being a female. Great times.

Other than my transition into university, I hope the world is doing okay (based off of the news, it ain’t). The Olympics are a good distraction from world issues. Watching the Olympics reminds me that I should start training for table tennis try-outs at the university soon. There are only a few more months and I haven’t touched a racket in yet another year. I’m going to be terrible at it when I start again which only means that I will have to try again at all the skills and techniques. I guess everything in this post is about trying things again if it doesn’t work the first time. Here’s to attempt 3!

Happy End of July. Enjoy the summer. Eat good food! Have fun!


Happy New Year. I hope this year brings happier times. As always, I am going to reflect on my resolutions, write about how 2020 went for me, and maybe even make new goals.

Last year, I made 3 resolutions. Let’s see how they’ve gone:

  1. Stay on task. Close other tabs when there is a deadline. Resist the urge to check the phone.
    • This is hard to measure, but I have done everything on time and I don’t think I’ve had any issues with getting an assignment completed. I may have procrastinated a few times, but I still left enough time for my work to be completed and to be of good quality.
  2. Exercise certain areas at least twice a week.
    • Why did I word this in this way? Basically, I think I meant that I wanted to stay in shape. Well, due to the pandemic, I stopped having practice every week and I stopped walking around at school. I’m still relatively in shape (I actually lost a bit of weight but I think that was all muscle mass) but of course, there are areas of improvement.
  3. Clean my room and desk regularly.
    • I actually did this one recently! I kept my desk clean most of the time. Last week, I moved all my stuff to my bedroom instead of where I was before. So everything is tidy as of right now.

Solid. I’ve done them all and I should continue to work hard to maintain these habits.

A lot happened in 2020. I did a lot of work last year. I did well in my grade 11 year so I’m very proud of myself. My first class of grade 12 also went by pretty well. I plan on continuing to do my best for my work and hopefully, I do not burn out or get super sad again. I like to watch dramas to stop worrying about stuff so I think I’ll be fine. I recently watched something really good with my sister so we will be okay for now. I applied to universities and for scholarships so I hope I hear back from them soon. I keep checking to see if they have finished with my application or something but I think I’m thinking too much about it. I should focus on finishing grade 12 first!

Anyway. It’s 2021, so that means I graduate high school this year. I should be able to get through that alright. I kind of want to go on a grad trip during the summer but who knows what the world will be like then. Who knows if anyone will want to go anywhere with me (other than a family trip, maybe having a friend trip will be fun, I don’t know). I will make some small goals for this year:

  1. Do well in the rest of my classes and do my best in every class.
  2. Focus on myself. Do what I want to do.
  3. Be tidy and keep being organized. Sleep and get up earlier.

That’s about it. I hope I make better memories this year and that I get through it well. Until next time!

a very merry christmas

Happy Holidays! It’s Christmas, which means gifts and a feast. Christmas also takes place during the winter break, so I’ve been just chilling at home.

During the past month or so, I’ve completed my English course with a very high mark, finished part of the yearbook, and done well in my second course of the year. I feel like I’ve accomplished quite a bit. I also applied to universities and scholarships. So far, I’ve been rejected by a scholarship thing. It is one of the more competitive ones so I’m not surprised by this outcome. I would be more surprised if I was accepted.

Since it is Christmas, I should think more positively. My family and I got up at around 11am to open presents. That was pretty nice and fun because my brother was extremely pumped. He’s been pumped since… the beginning of December. Which is good, but he’s kind of annoying…

Anyway, I got a scarf, a tuque, some chocolates, a sweater, and a nice pen. Pretty solid stuff. 🙂 Now I can smell the lamb shank my dad is making. Smells great. Merry Christmas!

no problem

School ended about a month ago. Grade 11 has ended on an uneventful note. Quietly, school is over and summer vacation has begun. All that is happening, is happening in my head.

These days, my head feels quite stuffy. Not in a sick way, but in a more ‘brain space’ way. I feel like I am running out of space in my brain for thoughts. To be honest, I felt that way for the entirety of this year. I just completed assignment after assignment without having the brain capacity to think about myself. For the past 4 months, I have spent most of my time at home, laying down for hours on end. Just kidding. However, I have been spending more time laying in bed before actually getting up. I spend an average of an hour in bed from the moment I crack open my eyes to the moment I leave for the washroom. I realize that that is not very productive.

This past week, I’ve been able to let some steam out. It had been building up for a long time, probably since the beginning of this year.

2020. Very interesting year for everyone I believe. I think the main reason for my stress these days is because of Grade 12. I very much dislike my school’s environment. All the students do is compare, brag, and complain. It’s incredibly annoying, toxic, and depressing, so I try not to participate and I try to tell the people around me not to. Or change the subject because I can’t change others. Anyway. I was going to say something about grade 12. I can’t remember what it was though.

These past 4 months was a good break from that school environment. I got to take a break from people. It was a much-needed break and I will have to take some time to readjust to school when it starts. Anyhow, I will be moving on if I want to or not. Until next time!

New Year’s Resolutions 2020

Shall I go over last year’s resolutions? I think I did a review half-way through the year as well. So maybe I’ll go through the midway ones. Grey is the original resolution. Blue is the comment that I made in June. Black is me Right Now.

  1. Arrange work in a more organized way (actually follow a schedule!)
    I like to think that I have organized my work in relatively well order. However, I have placed myself in a hard position where assignments were slightly piling up and I was stressing myself out.
    I have begun to prioritize things. There’s no specific order. I think I still need to figure out a better system though. To keep my desk less cluttered.
  2. Be more outgoing! Maybe do some work experience this year…
    I did and am doing work experience. I also went outside more often with classmates. I made more friends this year. Very good!
    I went places with my friends in 2019. Fun! Became better friends with some people and learned how to talk in a better way to people.
  3. Try to… have more self-awareness?? Also be more aware of others and where I am among them.
    I seem to be too aware these days. I am too wary of myself ad my actions. Kind of tiring but it helps me understand others better. Others are also humans and have feelings and are unpredictable (as much as I’d like to predict other people…)
    I am more aware. And I have developed a voice that I use specifically when ordering things and talking to teachers.
  4. Draw, read, and write more often to keep the creative process ongoing.
    I drew throughout the year in art class and in English. I went to the library more often this year and read more books. I still have more books that I want to read. I also have many ideas for things to write about. I will get to them after summer vacation is fully in swing.
    In the first half of the year, I was more creative. In the second half, I was more occupied. I also did not take an art class. Will work on this one more.
  5. Put more effort towards friends. (For example: go out with them, help them, be more caring, talk to them more, etc.)
    I WENT OUT TODAY WITH FRIENDS. I realized that I am accidentally in many friend groups at once. Tiring as well… That’s not their fault, it’s my own for thinking too much probably.
    I have narrowed down my friend group. I don’t know if I really have any friends, but I think I have at least one.
  6. Be more mature (how vague…) and think more before acting. Think about the consequences, how my action can affect others, and how I feel.
    I think I think a lot more now. A lot more.
    Lots think. Yes.
  7. Improve handwriting. Printing. I don’t know, just more… good-looking.
    I completely forgot about this one and I actually think that my printing has gotten worse.
    My printing has gotten better, to be honest. More neat and… I don’t know, mature? 
  8. Exercise more. Go for runs, practise more table tennis (maybe arrange for more practices??), and do stretches and other exercises more regularly.
    I play table tennis for four hours at a time. I should do other exercises too.
    I still play a lot of table tennis.
  9. Plan ahead. Like… uh… Watch out for deadlines and get things done ahead of time so that I have time to look things over and get things done to the best of my ability.
    Kind of redundant to be honest. This one is like number 1. Still needs some work, just like everything else.
    Currently working on it.

Maybe I should make fewer resolutions. Perhaps I’ll go about growth in steps. Smaller steps.

  1. Stay on task. Close other tabs when there is a deadline. Resist the urge to check the phone.
  2. Exercise certain areas at least twice a week.
  3. Clean room and desk regularly.

That’s it. Start small I guess. 2020. We’ll see how it turns out.

packing it in

Today we began packing for our summer trip to Shanghai, China. As of right now, we have packed most of our check-in luggage. For me, most of the items that I packed into mine are actually not my things. My things probably take up a quarter of the space. Oof : )

While opening some packaging, I got a paper (cardboard) cut. On three fingers, but only one bled. I’m very smart. Anyhow. I’m slightly worried that I will forget to bring something or I will bring too much or bring something I’m not supposed to bring. There are lots of things that I am thinking about these days, for no actual reason. Or maybe there is a reason, but I’m overthinking about it. Or perhaps it is not for me to worry about. But I’d like to help and not feel like a terrible person by not thinking about it. Oh well. I guess I’ll go with the flow again.

Stomachache. I feel like my appetite and ability to eat a lot has decreased this year. And the ability to digest. Or maybe I eat too much now. I don’t know but food is good and I eat either way. Instead of thinking about it, I just go with it until I feel uncomfortable or something like that. Going with the flow~.

Until next time… Maybe I’ll be elsewhere when I post again, or maybe I’ll be back from my trip!

what is on the other side?

I have neglected to write since the start of the year. I think I was… very distracted. By various things. I still am distracted. Some things that I have been occupied by are school, sports, TV dramas, movies, and music. Upon further analysis, it appears that school work and TV dramas are the main cause of this lack of presence on this blog.

School work. It appears that I always care more than I would like to. Especially for group projects. I hate having to make sure I am not being a burden. This is where I get frustrated; I act nice to those who become a burden to me. Why can’t I stand my ground? Why am I not resolute? Aside from an internal struggle with myself, I think I’m doing pretty well for the past two terms. There is one more term of grade 10. I can’t seem to wrap my head around that concept. I have 2 more years to go. Before I know it… it will be over. I’ll have to begin anew. I have to find a purpose in this society. Haha. That sounds funny. Not entirely sure why though.

It is Spring Break, which explains how I found the time to notice that it has been a while since I last posted. There are two more Spring Breaks after this one. There are many things I am going to have to do. I hope I don’t procrastinate. I have many things to do (does repeating this make me feel like I must complete all my homework?). I have to complete my Science Enrichment Project. I have to begin my English Portfolio. I have to read a book (and figure out what I am going to with it). I have to go to the dentist this week. I have to help a school sports team by being their manager (I’m not complaining, I think it will be fun or interesting). Hopefully, I can finish all that I listed just now.

I don’t know what to do now. I guess I’ll be OK. For now.