the feeling of july

– [Healer] 힐러 OST –

Yesterday was Canada Day. It happened to be the 150th celebration, so many people were excited to celebrate it. I went with my sister and cousin to watch fireworks. My brother and my parents watched fireworks on the mountain; my brother was especially excited as he had never been outside at such a late hour. I found the busy streets of Downtown very unfamiliar. There are so many people, buildings, and shops; I was so fascinated by the buildings that I probably looked like a tourist among the others, even though I lived near there for all my life.

It is July and it sure feels like summer. Summer Vacation has started for a while now, but I have yet to immerse myself in some sort of work or productivity. So far, I have completed half a movie, a television series and a half, and I am planning on reading a book. A relatively reasonable length book. So that’s my plan. When I finish all those (all?), I may do something that seems close to something that I may do at school, like a… story, art work, or some reflection. Especially on what I am going to do next year when school starts all over again. Grade 8 was a lot faster than I had thought it would feel. Believe it or not, I am done with that grade. Grade 9 is what I’ll be when I am back in school. Grade 9 sounds like a bad year: I myself thought the grade 9’s of the year were quite annoying as they purposefully yelled, “EW, grade EIGHTS!”, because wow you have a great perception, and also the looks they tossed at some of my classmates were detestable. I mean, it’s not every person in that grade, but many are this way. There are a couple of grade 10s who still do these kinds of acts. Grade 8-10 sounds like bad years. But aren’t bad years meant to experience and learn from?

I have lots of thinking to do. For a very long time. Well then, see ya! ((:

accompanied loneliness

–[Lonely] 씨스타–

I am late again. By another day. You know, I try to have at least two posts in one month, but for the past two months, I suck at remembering to write. Well, here we are in June. I really dislike how we are already in our last month of school. There are only 21 more days until school is out. However I still have many things to do. I still have to edit and print my English simile poem. My poem somehow turned depressing. Again. Just like my ‘I am From’ poems. I still have to study for my Socials test for next week, and then there is one more unit to cover. My Science is almost coming to an end. Art is wrapping up, Math is in the last project, and the other classes are just things I don’t exactly focus on, like French, P.E., and Home Ec. I have a skills test tomorrow in Home Ec. Well. I nearly forgot.

I guess I am really lonely, even though there are people around. I mean, if I tell my family or my one really close friend, they’ll go, ‘it’s okay, you still have us.’ But, really, I still have a sense of loneliness. I always look at people’s backs, so if I switch places with them and I can’t see their backs, I feel scared. But when I see their backs, I feel left behind if I don’t catch up. I really don’t get what I want.

There is a Sports Banquet for all the Spring and Summer sports teams. Sometime next week. There is a dress code. I dislike having a restriction even if it is to look semi-formal. I don’t like wearing dresses, so I guess I’ll wear something half casual, but a little more fancy, like some random thing hiding in the back of my closet that is not something I usually wear. If I can find something like that. My friend is worrying about it, but then again, it is our first fancy event since entering high school.

Tomorrow is another day of looking at people’s backs. I guess I should go sleep and get back up in the morning. Well then, goodnight! I mean, see ya!

demonstrations i

Well hello there. I was actually planning on writing something yesterday, before April ended, but. I ended up being late and now I have to write something in May. Well isn’t that weird.

My cousin is coming back to live with my family for a while today. I helped set up his sleeping area. It’s not really a room, it’s just a spot in the basement. Gabey has been quite excited. Right, I did all that today since I don’t have any school today. It’s a Goal Day. Grace had an AP exam today, so she should be  done by now. I’ve been working on my Science. We have to do a demo and explain how it works, why it works, and how it is applied in real life. For the other two days, I worked on and finished my Social Studies and English. In Socials we were working on the Protestant Reformation. This unit is quite interesting as I am a Catholic, and even though I heard of the other branches of Christianity, I never really figured out why some of them are there. I mean, I never actually went out there on purpose to figure it out. :)) In English, we are writing and analyzing poems. I’m not really good at poems, but I kind of have to raise my mark in this course to get an A. Ugghhh.

For now, I will work on my Science, and do what I usually do. Until I write again. See ya!


Heyy, I have neglected this for a while as I couldn’t find any thing to write about or even find the time and patience to write a whole post. I really haven’t done much. I did lots of school. I have a large test tomorrow for Socials Studies.

I have been thinking a lot recently. Am I afraid of being in the way of others achieving their goals? Am I being a pushover? I think I have accidentally become a pushover. People borrow my supplies all the time, ask to copy my homework, or to buy things (with the promise to pay me back). I mean, it’s not mean to me, it just makes me think, am I benefiting from my actions? I’ll… think about it over Summer Break, I don’t have time to think these days. Maybe I’ll find something, but for now, I will study. Well then, see you!

writing instead of typing

I am using my tablet instead of typing for this post. I can write everything with it. Quite fun, actually. Watching the letters come out is… interesting.

It’s a week into Spring Break and I haven’t done much work aside from the easy assignments. I’m very lazy, to be honest. Not that I realized just now or anything. Spring Break is fun. Laziness, well, that’s a part of me. :))

There are 7 more months until my birthday. More importantly, my dad’s birthday is in 10 more days. My brother’s is in a month and 8 days. My sister’s is in 3 months and 10 days. And I am too lazy to figure out my mom’s as it is in December. :))

Today, I organized my clothing. As expected, I have lots of clothing that don’t fit. It’s okay, because now I have space for new clothing. But, my allergies act up with all the dust in the air, as well as the amount of ‘spring’. It is the first day of spring.  It is the first day of spring. Yesterday, my family and I went to a park and to had an intense allergic reaction to something that I had to stop my runny nose and many things in my airway was itchy. It’s like that today too. 🙁

Anyhow, I am surviving, so I will go do some useful things. See ya later!

predicament part ii

Why is my brother so cuute! I know he’s like five, but bro, he’s so adorable. I did an English test this morning; it was composed of two parts: a quotes section of who said it, and an essay. I got 23/30 for the quotes side, and my teacher will mark the essay on her own time. I feel like I will failll. I also did a Socials Studies presentation-ish and I guess I did okay with the information part. I also need to complete my course selection form. I did lots of things today, I guess, compared to me usually. I got all my Day 2 teachers to sign my Field Trip form. I have table tennis provincials in 2 weeks. I’m gonna cry, because I missed 2 practices due to snow this week. Last week, I missed it once due to the Science Fair. I’m so out of shape. And out of focus due to my lack of practice. I also suck at staying warmed-up. Should wear more. :))

School has been quite… busy. It is the end of the term. I dislike making things. Like with wood and intense machines. AKA basic Tech Ed stuff. I enjoy drawing/designing stuff, but I’m probably not going to take Drafting next year. Also Enriched courses are something I might take. I don’t really like how it’s called Enriched. Kind of hard to say, and sounds a little pretentious. It’s also really different from Honours, which I dislike, but like who cares. I just want things to be easier and the same. I don’t enjoy change when it directly affects me. Sad. Anyway, I need to get started on writing an article for the school newspaper which is due in 2 days. I.. yeah. See ya. Goodnight!

2017 New Year’s Resolutions!

Hey guys, Happy New Year! 2016 has come to an end. That means 2017 has started, and there must be a post on some goals for the rest of the year. Well, without further ado, the resolutions!

  1. Try to get my creativity out in different ways (drawing, writing, idk what else).
  2. Focus (whether it be around people, at school, or when playing sports).
  3. Less use of my phone.
  4. Sleep at more appropriate times.
  5. Try to keep the desk organized for as long as possible and clean every once in a while.
  6. Organize time for everything; have a plan. 🙂
  7. Spend more time with the child. GABEYY.

Well, that seems to be it. There isn’t as much as I thought. I guess 7 is a good number to stop at as I am not used to seeing the year as 2017. 2016 was fun, uneventful, and strangely turned pretty bad at the end.
School starts in 2 days. I don’t think I’m very excited for it to begin. I should get back into my school sleeping schedule. However, I don’t think I’m getting very close to getting my sleep schedule back to normal anytime soon. I just can’t fall asleep at normal times.

I noticed that recently I’ve been painting a whole bunch of random things. Is it so that I have something to do? I do… but I don’t really want to. ((:

I hope everyone has a good 2017! Happy New Year again!


Well hello there. Today, I started to use my laptop. I am not used to the keyboard. Or the screen being connected to the keyboard. I feel like this is gonna take a while to get used to.

I cleaned my desk today. The surface has gotten some light after like… 4 months? Maybe even more than that because I was lazy over Summer Vacation. I really don’t know. I did a whole bunch of chores today with my siblings after destroying the gingerbread house we made for Christmas. Yes, we destroyed it. With a meat tenderizer. My brother and my sister destroyed. I tried to keep the mess minimal, however, that didn’t work out, so we ended up cleaning the entire level. I vacuumed for the first time. And so did my 5 year old little brother. I’m so helpful.

I don’t think my productivity level is very high, especially since I don’t have anything in particular to do or complete. I am not complaining. This is good. Relaxing. But, I must find something to do. I did, but I got bored of doing it. Ahahah. I have no life. :))) (double chins included)

Alright, I will now get to keeping my desk clean for the next month. OH. I should probably start thinking of some New Year’s Resolutions. Haha. Well, until I write again. See ya!

idk what

Today I realized I was actually a little sick. A little bit of coughing and a little bit of a gross nose. I had ping pong today. We had a tourney for my group lesson. I got 4th. Last time we had a tourney thing, I got 2nd. I wasn’t really into it today. I actually noticed that I was not into the game at all. Wow. I noticed something. I also realized that I hate it when people have expectations of me. I heard another student in my group lesson talk about me as “that girl that beats everyone” right after my match that I lost (and started my losing streak). I won 6 matches and lost 4 matches. I hate expectations, even if they’re mine. I want to swear. Like really loudly. But not right now because my throat hurts.

I really like this drama series’ OST. It’s like, half depressing and half satisfying. I don’t know. I’m really boring. I haven’t written something creative and posted in a while. It’s probably because I hate getting criticized by certain people. I’m not blaming anyone, but it’s just my personal feeling. I think I just hate the way I do things.

It snowed more today. I played outside with my brother for like an hour. We made a very little snowman. It had a red frisbee for a hat. Then after we made it, we went inside for hot chocolate (with waaay too much powder). I went out after it stopped snowing as hard, and the frisbee-hat had a layer of snow on top of it. It didn’t topple over. Impressive. Better than me. 😉

I will now proceed to write my novel. A personal one. Not for any particular reason. Yeah. See ya when I’m not super sick or sad.

onze heures

It has been quite a while. I have been quite busy with the new amount of homework every week. Or everyday. Yeah, that’s more like it. So, my dad has gone to Shanghai for 15 days, and he’s to come back tomorrow. And tomorrow happens to be a vacation day for students as it is Remembrance Day. Oh yeah, that reminds me, at school we had our Remembrance Day ASSEMBLIES, and the ones at my school are long-ish and sort of abrupt, while at my brother’s, he got to say, “I will remember,” while holding his POPPY ART. AIN’T that CUUUTE.

Anyway, that means I can go pick my dad up from the airport with my siblings! However, I still have lots of homework, so I can’t have the whole day waiting and slacking off as I normally do on every other day. It’s getting a little late, but I’m not too worried about the time. I’m more worried about the time that I will sleep at. Recently I noticed that I have more… noticeable eyebags than from grade seven. Which reminds me, I should probably go sleep as it is like 11. It’s not particularly late for other days, but I feel a little tired. Well then, off to bed I will go. See ya!