endless patience

This is quite the summer I am having. I’ve been gaming and eating a lot. However, summer session for me has just begun so I have more to do. I could’ve been looking into the LSAT through the book I bought last month. I looked into it the first couple of days but then I got a bit lazy and decided to leave it for now. I have a paper due tomorrow and a term paper to prepare for after that.

These days I’ve been doing a lot of housework. My parents went to San Francisco for about a week and came back feeling unwell. They got COVID-19 and they stayed in their room for about ten days until they felt better and tested negative twice. My sister and I were pretty much on our own for about a month. I went out three times to get groceries and my brother’s library books. It was kind of fun to be able to do whatever we wanted to do whenever. It wasn’t that fun to spray and wipe down the bathroom that we shared with our parents while they were sick every night. My sister and I were mostly concerned about my brother getting sick because he has something similar to asthma.

Sometimes I wonder if I ever got sick. Like throughout the entire pandemic, I haven’t gotten sick at all. I haven’t even gotten a cold since 2019. I feel like the next time I get sick, I will be hit hard. So far, every time one of my family members get sick, I am the… main person to help out and yet I still do not get sick. Is this… youth? Just kidding. It’s probably related to how my immune system works and how often I exercise and go outside to expose myself to potential pathogens. Where was I going with this again? I just can’t tell if or when I get sick anymore.

It’s been a number of years since the pandemic began and it still feels new. I should have been prepared for my family members getting COVID-19, but I didn’t think that I could stay healthy even as we shared bathrooms and as I did COVID-positive dishes with disposable gloves and a mask on. What a time.

Some conclusions from the past few weeks:
1. I have some more confidence in cooking now.
2. I can handle at least two stressful events at one time.
3. I haven’t cried in a while. (I feel like it’s coming up soon)
4. I am probably more sympathetic than empathetic.
5. I do not know how to respond when people I care about are upset.

This past year, I learned a lot about my family and where I am situated within both sides. There’s not a whole lot for me, the second child of a youngest child and an only child, to do for either family. There’s nothing significant about my position. I’m not the oldest child, the youngest child, or a boy. There is no specific role for me to play other than a good kid.

Another thing that I have noticed this past year is the way I refer to myself in my thoughts and writing. I still believe that I am a child and that I am young enough to be underage. Of course, this is to be expected–I’m only 18. I’m still learning how to think like an adult. I’m still learning how to be like an adult. However, I don’t think there will be much of a difference between me now and me in 5-10 years.

Anyway, the conclusion is, what time I am having!

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