Jared walked around in the huge backyard, and sat down on a swinging bench that was for two that they JUST bought and made with the help of the intructions. “This is a nice house for Chelsea and I.” he thought. As soon as he was getting up Chelsea said,”Time for lunch, darling!”. “Coming, love!”, he answered. Jared wondered what it was this time. Last time it was some Chinese food. He went to a huge box he had not lifted upstairs, and they used it as a dining table. Today, it was…. INDIAN CUISINE. They ate quietly, the only sound was them chewing. “So, are you planning on picking up Aria from daycare?” ,asked Chelsea. Aria was their innocent blonde daughter that was 4 years old that looked like an angel. “Yeah,” answered Jared.
“Mommy, mommy, mommy! Guess what I made at daycare! A funny mask, a picture, and two more pictures that are for you and Daddy!!”, Aria exclaimed as soon as she bounced in with Jared following her. ” Is it dinner? ALREADY? I was planning on playing Barbies!” , Aria cried. “Come on,eat this. It’s called a broccoli on curry rice with peas.” , Chelsea urged her. Soon, they finished dinner. After that, it was time for Aria to go to bed. As soon as Jared and Chelsea knew that Aria was asleep, they went to bed.
Chapter 2 is coming soon!
3 Replies to “Better Friends (A Sequel to:Best Friends)”
MUAHAHAHAHAHAA~ now thank me for my superior editing skills. I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Nice, so far. Not a lot of action, though. Make longer chapters. Write one huge chapter instead of two teensy ones, ‘kay? Just some tips. Carol might give you some, too. Tips, I mean.
Thanks, Grace! 🙂 😛 🙂
Hmm… some tips huh?
Well Gloria, you could try indenting whenever someone new starts talking. EG. instead of going like, “OMG! What did you do?” said Cara. Jordan stared at her. “What do you mean?” he asked. “What is this?” shrieked Cara, pointing at the blob of yellow on the floor, you could go like THIS:
“OMG! What did you do?” said Cara.
Jordan stared at her. “What do you mean?” he asked.
“What is this?” shrieked Cara, pointing at the blob of yellow on the floor.
See? Makes sense, right? Now you could write like a professional. 😀