irregular

I’m like really screwed right now. So, at school we have this schedule divided into two days. On Day 1, there are four classes, and on Day 2 there are four other classes. I carry two different binders depending on the day. Today happened to be a Day 2, and tomorrow is Day 1. Yesterday was a Day 1 and I think I lost my binder for Day 1 yesterday. Either I lost it on the bus or I lost it at school. I have a calculator, a USB flash drive, like 2 notebooks with notes in them, math, science, tech ed work in it, and lots of other papers. On the outside I may seem a little lazy about it, but on the inside, it’s like… I don’t know what to do. How to get it back. Also, I am slightly worried about what happened to it, but who wants grade eight homework with my name on it. There was homework in there that is due tomorrow. This is so great. I stress about talking too. Recently, I’ve been nervous about pretty much everything. Like literally. I’m gonna cry.

I think I cried about reading out loud to a class a piece of writing I did. About… doing lots of homework. Hahaha. So childish. But I wanna cry right now. I have something stuck in my heart. Not stuck, like… foggy. Something foggy in my heart. Sometimes my heart feels weird after I run 400 m. When I play a game of table tennis, I get really really (more than before) nervous before each point. It causes me to rush, and it is currently my only problem according to my coaches. AAAAAHHHHGHGHhhh. Can I like do something good? I haven’t done anything worth praising yet. I saw a bunch of my marks, and many of them were lower than I thought. But it makes sense. I didn’t do very well on tests. I hate tests. What do I like. Oh my godd. I don’t know anymore. I know classmates that think I am smart so they ask me for answers or help with their work, but I have severe problems in my head. There is something wrong. When I lost my binder, I couldn’t even remember if I brought it onto the bus or not. If I left it at school or took it with me. If I got off the bus with it or not.

Is my heart and head messed up? It’s getting late, so I think I’ll have to prepare for tomorrow, and explaining my situation. See ya. (:

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